Ode to Spam

Homogenized, reconstituted man
  Born of a boring sire and listless dam
Hath need of meats anonymous and wan
  Comprised of gristle, lips and days-old ham:
Fair luncheon meat, hard-press'd into a can
  That champion of blandness, mighty Spam™!

For Spam™ hath that therein that cheers the gut
  Yet troubleth not the teeth or tongue or craw,
For being ready-chewed, it may be put
  Directly past the eater's gaping maw
And this so bypassed, eaten all uncut
  Uncrushed and uncompress'd by mortal jaw

    For what man now hath time to waste on chewing
    When he hath all that canning to be doing?